I’ve been spending my morning looking up crazy holidays that no one ever celebrates. I love using them as tie-ins for stories and they oftentimes prompt good story ideas, anyway. I know I’m way ahead of the game here, but May 9th is apparently Tear the Tags Off the Mattress Day. I’m loving it.
I never understood why it’s apparently a crime to rip off a piece of fabric. Yet, I’ll admit that I’ve never done it. Anyway, as usual the idea prompted some thoughts annnnd obviously a blog post. I just got thinking… What other useless information do I just listen to and accept as normal even if it isn’t? What habits do I still maintain even though they are no longer relevant?
I’ve had a Word document open on my screen for a bit and compiled a list. In no particular order and just because I want to, here’s a list of all the random habits or silly rules that make no sense to me:
- Look both ways when you cross the street: not as useful when you live on a tiny deserted island with one-way streets.
- I always take the first stair with my right foot. I’ve tried switching it up and just faceplant.
- Knocking on doors: why not kick it?
- The customer is always right: bullllllpucky the customer is NOT always right. I find it hilariously hypocritical that establishments enforce that mentality, yet have signs that say “We maintain the right to refuse service to anyone.” There should be a fine print that reads “but we’ll let you bring in your perfectly fine coffees for free refills even though we know you just go from Starbucks to Starbucks, you lazy bum.”
- Forks: why does the fork go on the left when most people are right-handed and the fork is the most prominently used utensil?
- Cash: for one of my SAT test essays, I argued that we should completely eliminate cash. And I think there’s a case for it. With everything on plastic, we’d save a lot of money we spend manufacturing. And maybe beggars would believe me when I tell them I don’t carry cash (I don’t).
- Say cheese for the camera: say whatttt?
- Picking up the phone: apparently, in 1877, Thomas Edison wrote a letter to the president of the Telegraph Company in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, suggesting that when people answer the phone, they use the word “Hello” instead of the word “Ahoy” suggested by Alexander Graham Bell.
- Ringback tones: I don’t need to know your (lack of) taste in music.
- Labor Day: what exactly are we celebrating, except the death of our right to wear white?