An Open Letter to My Ex-Boyfriend(s)

Dear ex-boyfriend,

Hello, long time no see. Or talk. Or text. It’s certainly been a while. And occasionally, I check in (and by that I mean Internet stalk) to see how things are going. Sometimes it’s difficult because for some reason (I hurt you; you’re wife hates me), you’ve blocked me on every possible forum, but I do what I can. It’s not meant as creepy. In fact, if you’re reading this, you get it. But I just find comfort in knowing that you’re doing fine.

You’re fine, I’m fine, the world goes on. But for some reason, I feel compelled to share that I always cared for you, and still do. It doesn’t always manifest itself in the best way, but you wouldn’t have been in my life if that weren’t true. Things may not be perfect now, but you played a role in my life for which I’ll be forever grateful. You made me happy, gave me butterflies. I loved you. And in my own way, I still do love you, because you are still the same you, at the heart of it all.

I don’t mean that in a condescending way. I’m just saying hi. And thank you for being everything I needed when I needed it. You may hate me now, or I may hate you now. Maybe I call you on your birthday every year. Maybe I wish you’d give me back my painting. Maybe I don’t talk to you at all, or avoid saying goodbye before I leave the country. My circumstances have changed, I know. But still… thank you for being there for me.

I may never be able to hit you as hard as I want to avenge how much you hurt me. I may never be able to be there so you can hit me to avenge how much I hurt you. These things aren’t ever righted. But this isn’t some Adele heartwrencher, and this may not sound as poetic as you might wish. But still. Thank you for playing your role in my life. I wouldn’t be who I am without it, without you.

Sincerely,

Mar/Marian/Baby Girl/Marbear
(your ex-girlfriend)

P.S. You need a haircut.

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