I was sitting with my girlfriend the other day talking about relationships. We both find ourselves in healthy, simple relationships right now… None of the crazy lusty heartbreakinghappiness of infatuated relationships.
Let me preface by saying that I’m probably not the most trustworthy opinion on the relationship front; I have a habit of completely fucking things up. But I have had that crazy lusty love, the kind that gives you a stomach ache and makes you want to vomit all over the poor guy’s shoes. It immobilizing, yet possibly the most invigorating, alive feeling I’ve ever experienced. It’s an adrenaline all its own and it’s the scariest thing in the world.
If that works out for people, goodness take the opportunity. But I only ever seem to make those situations into complete messes. Which kind of got me thinking about the guy I’m dating now. We butt heads and compete relentlessly, we manage to get along with each other’s friends, we butt heads. We also butt heads. But for some reason, being with him is comfortable…Putting effort into debates and laughing about unimportant things is fun and I find that by not going head-over-heels, I am able to keep my grounding and I’m slightly guarded against the devastating, heating-up-and-falling-fast feeling of being broken by someone I was infatuated with.
I don’t mean to sound removed or heartless, but maybe it’s better to be with someone who is compatible than to be with someone who drives you crazy (in every sense of the word).
I mean, maybe that’s why second marriages are often so much more successful; both parties go in with a knowledge of each other and of the others flaws and strengths. It’s more about making a compatible, healthy life together than it is about following our lusty wiles. Maybe it’s called “young love” for a reason… because it’s a love wrought with naivety and immature notions of compatibility.
But when it comes down to compatibility or craziness, does choosing the former mean I’ve lost my sense of romanticism? Or am I leaving childish notions behind and embracing a life of a lot less heartbreak? Wouldn’t that be nice…