The Seven Men Every Woman Needs

My mother has lots of little sayings, Anne-isms if you will: The answer’s always yes as long as it makes sense; You can do anything you set your mind to; Never have more children than you have hands. Usually, they’re pretty useful mantras to go by.

Lately, she’s adopted a new one. Every woman needs seven men in her life. She then goes on to argue that only one of those men needs to be straight, but she never specifies who the seven men actually are. It kind of got me thinking… What are the original seven? So in no apparent order, and just because I want to, I present my list of the seven men every woman needs:

1.  The supporter. In most cases, this tends to be the father-figure type, someone who knows you and loves you unconditionally, and who can provide advice and support you whenever you need a little boost. Or maybe it’s your personal trainer, who pushes you beyond your self imposed limits.

2.  The boyfriend. Or husband. Or hookup. Or significant-something-but-we’re-not-putting-a-label-on-it, whatever. As long as he can satisfy your, ahem, physical needs. And it doesn’t hurt if he’s a decent person or knows how to cook, too.

3.  The shopper. He doesn’t have to wear a scarf, or go with you to the mall. But this is the guy who knows your taste and preference and can help you make any purchasing decision, from shoes to kindle covers.

4.  The unspeakable. Presumably, everyone’s been through a bad breakup. This is the guy whom you never talk to, but his existence is a reminder that you can overcome hurdles, and that you’re more woman for it.

5.  The handyman. Self explanatory, really, but this isn’t just your landlord’s handyman. This is the guy you can call when you need someone to help you move your couch, or when you’re having computer problems or need help with that DIY project. All you have to do is pay him back in baked goods.

6.  The flirter. Yes, a boyfriend is your one and only. But this guy is the one that makes you feel beautiful on days when you otherwise wouldn’t, if only because flirting is a major release of happy hormones. You don’t really hang out, but it still feels good to be noticed.

7.  The platonic. He comes to you for romantic advice or to bitch about his mother, you go to him for boy troubles, and there’s zero awkwardness because there’s zero sexual tension. And then you can lounge and do nothing all day. You can talk about anything (really). No pressure, and all fun.

Not bad, eh? Did I miss anything? As I was putting it all together, though, I realized that one person can fit into more than one category. For example, ideally, your boyfriend (or whatever) fulfills some other roles, as well. But a handyman can just as easily be a shopper.